Today I was listening to some Hootie & the Brofish while sipping a natty when I realized, the early 90’s were chill as fuck. I mean, back then, I was suckin’ on titties… I’m 36.

Today my girl was under my desk giving me head while i flirted with her sister on facebook…fucked her sister later.

today i made my girl a sandwich…. it was my dick in between her tits

Im currently enlisted in the Marines and at bootcamp i got the nerve to tell my Drill Sargent to chill bro and make me a fucking sandwich. He replied with MLIB. We spent the rest of the day drinking natty ice and getting Brotally wasted.

My coach told us to take a water break. i took a natty break.

Today my truck, loaded with dirtbikes, made a prius shit it’s self. MLIB

Today a guy came to fix my air conditioning, and he told me he had a license to chill. MLIB

Im always gettting sandwiches made for me, like every bro should, but today I decided to be generous and make some sandwiches myself to give to others. I made a cock meat sandwich for this one bitch and after she gobbled it down her boyfriend walked in and I gave him a knuckle sandwich. MLIB 
 

So today at practice, my lax coach told me his daughter had something for me. So after practice i went back to her house to get my clothes.

Today I was gonna shave my pubes but then I thought “wouldn’t it be chill if i let my shaft have a flow” so i left them. it was chill. MLIB