yesterday, a bitch asked me why a guy is Bro if he fucks alot of chicks, and chicks are sluts if they do alot of guys. i said to her “well, if one key can open a lot of locks, then it is the master key. if a lock can be opened by alot of keys, then it’s a shitty-ass lock, isn’t it?”
she understood. MLIB

LAX and Nattys
Bitches and Flow
Holy Shit
My life is so Bro

poetry… chicks dig it

I met my girlfriends dad for the first time today…he told me it was about time a got a job…i told him i get plenty from his daughter…mlib

Today, I rolled my ankle at lax and had some trouble walking. Went to the trainers room with my shirt off.

Now she’s having trouble walking. MLIB

the other night my bro and i were getting our asses kicked in a game of beer pong against two chicks. i looked at my bro and said “how is this happening?” i noticed a stove behind him and realized we were playing in the kitchen.

My fuck buddies found out about each other today, they played super smash bros to determine who’d get to sleep with me. MLIB

Today I was gonna go look for a mylifeisbro t-shirt online, but then I realized I don’t even wear shirts. mlib

Today, I got fired from my job broguarding the pool. Apparently its “inappropriate” to get head while on the job. MLIB

Last night i had a dream that i was bangin two hot babes. I woke up and there were three. MLIB

Today I left a can of natty on the table and my 2 year old son climbed up and opened it. When I walked in and saw him we fist bumped. I have concluded my son is a bro. MLIB