today i was forced to drive a golf cart for some unchill charity event. turns out they filled the back wit natty lights. after i crushed em with my bro we sat out in the sun and fist bumped other golfer bros. chill as shit

Today I longboarded into town with my lax pinnie on. Needless to say, I got laid. MLIB.

Today I was getting my physical, and my smokin’ hot doctor depantsed me. She told me to cough while she held my little bros, but i just got a broner. She looked up at me and I said, “chill doc.” She lost her latex gloves and gave me an HJ, it was chill. MLIB

my girlfriend is one of the athletic trainers. during games she puts natty ices in my bottle instead of water. MLIB

Today my teacher said we were gonna study the womens rights movement. I simply pointed out that that never existed and all women are good for is bjs and sandwiches. She told me to shut it. so i told her to chill. MLIB

Today I rocked my new green and blue sperrys. I went to my bro’s party and some unchill dude told me they were gay. Later at the party I fucked some girl. Then next day I found out it was his girlfriend. It was chill.

Today I woke up, smoked some weed, ate some roman noodles, gamed some halo 3 and called my bro Macaulay Culkin. Life is so chill when you are brome alone. MLIB

Today I was on Facebook and my bro messaged me saying he fucked this chick last night. I was proud so I walked to his house and fist bumped him. Not sure if it was true or not, but I like to make my bros feel bro-fesional. MLIB

Today, I realized my family came from Broatia. Chillest country ever. MLIB

My girlfriend wanted us to go to the mall tonight before it closed. I said it was fine, as long as we fucked first. She obviously agreed (cuz I wasn’t wearing a shirt). I demolished her pussy for 3 and a half hours. We never went to the mall. MLIB.