Today, me and my bro went frat hoping. We’re sophomores in highschool. MLIB
Last week I hit a woman while driving. Oh wait, I forgot that i don’t drive in the kitchen. MLIB
Today some hoe tried giving me a handjob. I stopped her half way through and was like, yo hoe, I can do it better myself, go do something worthwhile and make me a sandwich. MLIB.
Today a girl tried to talk to me after making me a sandwich. I responded with “I don’t believe I can have sex with this conversation”. She shut up and had sex with me. It was chill. MLIB
Everything I did today was bro. Especially the hot 17 year old I met at the high school field where my bros and I lax. I’m 23. MLIB.
My bro’s sister drank natty light with me before we fucked and her name is Josephina. So I call her Brosephina. MLIB
I took my girlfriend on a nice long walk on the beach. Just kidding. We fucked and then I played MW2. MLIB.
I was in the bromobile with my dad and my sister, she was yelling at my dad for not letting her get her license. I told her to chill and said,” Why would you need a driver’s license anyway? theres no road betweent the bedroom and the kitchen.” My dad and i fist bumped but we didnt laugh, were to bro.MLIB.
Played some pick up lax in the park with the bros. Some bitches wanted us to take our pennys off. We did, then took their panties off and fucked them. MLIB
Last night I went to a party. I was wearing a lax pinny and some babe offered to make out with me if she could wear it… I turned her down. MLIB