i woke up in aisle 6 of Wal-mart with the smell of natty coming off my breath and a condom still on my dick. The Wal-mart employee gave me a hand up, a fist pump, and told me to have a chill rest of the day.
I was buying insurance today with nationwide. Instead of their pro-active insurance I asked for their bro-active insurance. Then my agent and I shared some natties and sandwiches prepared by the bitch at the front desk. Nice.
Today, I counted all the money in my wallet. I have $69. MLIB
Today my girlfriend came to me and told me we needed to talk. She said if I keep spending most of my paychecks on natty light she was going to leave me. I told her to pack her shit. MLIB.
Today some chick asked why i was wearing my sunglasses at night. I told her badassness doesnt set with the sun. Then she blew me. chill night.
today i went in the gas station to pick up some natties for me and the bros and their bro cave full of beer was called the “chill zone”. so chill
After I submitted my story to mlib and it said cool story bro I fist bumped the computer. It was chill.
tonight i was playing beer pong with a few of my bros and bitches. my partner and i were losing and he wanted to quit. i said “bro, jesus never tapped out, neither will you”. we won and then later i got dome in the laundry room. it was mad chill. mlib.
today i bought my bro rolex for his bday, renamed it a brolex. then my bottom bitch came up to me and said “why don’t you buy me watches?” i told her because there’s a clock on the stove.
Today my bitch gave me head on my couch. Thats right, i have a couch in my kitchen.