Today some guy called me a bitch because I was wearing my lax pinnie to this party. I ended up hooking up with his chick. Who’s the bitch now?

Just watched the Brazilian team play men’s volleyball at the olympics. Saw that there jerseys said: Bra 1, Bra 2. My bro and I fist bumped then bought the jerseys online and played lax instead in them. MLIB

Today i was sitting in class with my lax pinnie on and this bitch asked me a question about the essay, I said shut up go make me a sandwich and get me a natty light. she did then gave me dome while i ate my sadwich and drank my natty light in class and two other bitches wrote my essay.

Last night i slept with my girl. i woke up this morning expecting to see her next to me, instead i woke up with my favorite spoon in hand while she was in the kitchen making me a sandwich. it was chill

Today in english class our teacher asked us why it was important to get an education. I said “Its important to get an education so I can go to college, party, pick up chicks, drink natty ice, and when I am done I am gonna make hella bank. I got kicked out of class so I left school early and lit up a joint.

Today, I was playing COD with my Bro, we were both getting head while playing. We fist bumped our mics. Chill as Fuck.MLIB

My daughters first word was kitchen. MLIB

Today I met a girl. She showed me the trunk of her car. It was filled with natty lights and sandwiches. We’re getting married next week, its pretty chill.

Today I played a game of BROnopoly. I decided to open up a sandwich shop on Boardwalk and made my bitch work there. I charged my other bros playing each time they passed by. I won the game. It was chill.

Today I ate a burger that my slam piece made with donuts as buns. It was chill, so I let her give me dome. MLIB